'every step was painful'

I live in Greater Noida and often have to travel long hours to reach anywhere. I also maintain a very good habit of drinking water very regularly but that makes me go to the washroom frequently. So knowing that I have to travel so far and the state of public washrooms on the Metro and elsewhere, I usually drink lesser water during travel and pee right before I leave. However, there was this one Godforsaken day that despite following my routine of avoiding water consumption and making my visit to the toilet, I felt like I needed to answer nature’s call 10 minutes into my journey. So I decided I’d go after my half an hour journey in the bus, at the Metro station I get into. Well I did, but both the lavatories were overflowing.. Rushing out quickly, trying not to throw up, I kept a 2 rupee coin on the toilet attendant’s table, looked at him in disgust and left. I knew that there’s definitely a washroom at Rajiv Chowk but knowing that it’s usually crowded I decided to get out of the station at Mayur Vihar Extension. All I found was an empty desk and a lock at the door which said in big bold letters: LADIES.


I was dying. Literally. I was trying to walk as quickly as I could so I could somehow magically reach Rajiv Chowk in seconds.. But every step was painful. Every step made me think of how humiliating yet liberating it’d be if I could pee right there.


Half an hour to Rajiv Chowk I was in a state of trans.. Not thinking.. Not feeling. Well, at least I tried not to.


Finally, at Rajiv Chowk, walking towards the public convenience board, my bladder cried more.. And I kept telling it and myself, ‘a minute, that’s it! I had to tell myself ‘5 minutes max’ when I saw the crowd in the toilet. And when it was finally my chance and I went in, it was Heaven.


With pee on the floor and pee on the seat.Water overflowing and leaking from all possible parts of all pipes. Sanitary napkins on the floor which were probably sitting there for days, not blood red anymore as they’d absorbed so much water.. Or pee.


I had to wear my bag in my neck, hold all sides of my clothing that was hanging in one hand, opened my pants with the other and did a whole lot of aerobics to pee into the pot without touching any part of it. It was a real adventure, as everyday is.


But now, my brain has an advanced version of Google Maps that remembers all parts of the city, mainly my route, where one can pee. Before I die of all the waiting I’ve memorized all I can for the unpleasant adventure that day and for the fact that I got UTI the next day.

- Pakhi Sinha, Delhi Nov 17, 2015